25.08.07 :: american doll posse kicks off ... and kicks ass

in less than an hour, tickets will go on sale for my favorite songstress, tori amos. last month she announced her north american fall tour to promote her newest album american doll posse. she'll kick off her tour in albany, ny, on oct. 9 and finish in los angeles on dec. 17.

tori and her band will play close to 50 dates in the u.s. [note: tori's birthday was aug. 22. sorry to have missed it. happy birthday, gurl! you're looking fab, but why should that surprise me??]

tori's latest album -- a.d.p. -- is based around songs sung by her "posse" of 5 women: tori as herself and tori in cognito as clyde, isabel, pip, and santa.

i think my girl has gone 'round the pipe, but i love her just the same. i haven't really given her new album much of a chance, but i love her single from it called big wheel.

wish me luck on some good seats at jones hall, ya'll.

"clyde"

"isabel"

"pip"

"santa"

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 25.08.07 9:48 AM

what's been up with you, maria? i've been doing ok. i've been busy at work -- my editor has taken a few days off, so i'm tending to the store, which i lovingly refer to as babysitting.

i've been out on a few dates with a few more guys from match.com. none have been all that promising, but it is what it is. i'm in no rush to get hitched, but meeting different guys has been an experience, to say the least. i'm steering clear of the bi and trisexuals. at least until houston's shallow pool of available homos dries up, that is.

on monday night, i ran into a friend who i hadn't seen around in a while. he was telling me that he just had a procedure done: he had to have the skin removed from the roof of his mouth and replaced with a skin graft from his upper leg. he had his mouth wired shut for about 2 weeks and could only get a small feeding straw in for about that time. it was cancer that was removed, and smoking had given that to him.

when i got home from work on tuesday, after smoking close to a pack that day, i said to myself, "what needs to happen, and how many other awful stories do i need to hear before i give it up?" so, i slapped on a 21 mg nicotine patch, put on my running shorts, and took off for the track at rice u. i ran about 2/3 of the way and walked the rest. i did the same thing last night, this time with a little more success -- less walking, more running. as an added bonus, i woke up this morning about 2 more lbs. lighter. now down to about 168 lbs., which is amazing in my book. i was well over 200 lbs. in january. incredible.

now i'm up to 60 hrs smoke-free and feeling ok about it. if i can only get the patches to stick somehwere on my body each day. the humid weather makes that a challenge. they end up slipping off even before leaving the house, and i then need to place surgical tape around the edges to hold them on, making it appear as though i took a 0.45's bullet to the arm rather than simply wearing a smoking cessation aid. [at one point, i was looking around my apartment for a staple gun. i'm not even kidding].

also, wearing the patches to bed is throwing off my sleep just a bit. i've been up very, very early for the last few days and have been getting to bed just as early as a result. i'm showing up for work hours before my usual 9:45 a.m. arrival time and it's starting to freak everyone at the office out just a bit, but i know they'll adjust.

i usually took a break from my work every hour on the hour to step outside for no less than 2 cigarettes, and now as each hour passes, i have to sit in my office and occupy my time otherwise, but i've made it through two very stressful days at work doing this, so i'm gradually relearning my behavior patterns. chewing a lot of gum, drinking a lot of water (and coffee) and sucking on hard candy. oy! will the fun never stop...

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 24.08.07 5:12 AM

not trying to sound like a debbie downer or anything, but it has been so freakin' hot this past weekend in the bayou city, and continues to be this week.

although i can't be certain -- as i may have been suffering from the early onset symptoms of heat stroke at the time -- i'm pretty sure that when starting my car after lunch yesterday, while dressed in full suit attire, mind you, the thermometer in my car read 104°.

houston or not, that just ain't right. and don't high temperatures make one more susceptible to other diseases, like west nile and mad cow? did you know that mad cow can live in your body for years before ravaging your brain?

i'm just sayin'... stay cool, people.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 14.08.07 8:07 AM

ok, so against my better judgment, i agreed to meet with the bisexual last night. it was awful, and i'll tell you why. red flags abound on this one. i should have sensed something was wrong from the beginning...

yesterday, through several text messages and phone calls during my work day, i was trying to firm-up plans to meet with this guy on thursday of this week, but for some reason he wanted to meet earlier than that [red flag no. 1: urgency. there's nothing too great that isn't worth waiting for, am i right?] but i digress...

i should have been clued off from the beginning, as the bisexual only had one photo of himself in his online profile [red flag no. 2: deception. the fact that someone is unwilling to provide more than one angle of their face and/or body always means something is amiss and that they are hiding something. each and every time. trust!]

and once i did finally meet with the bisexual, it was at his place of work. the directions he gave me to meet him there were sketchy at best, and he refused to tell me the name of the place. i was thinking on my way over to meet him last night that my friends better have taken a good look at me when last they saw me, because it very well could have been their lasting image of my body when it was alive and walking around. looking back, this was an incredibly stupid move on my part to meet in such a way. what was i thinking? did i really want to risk my life to meet a guy? would my friends actually hold a candle-light vigil for me a month from now when i had gone missing?? [red flag no. 3: creepiness. it's never appropriate, and usually frightens the children]

and lastly, the bisexual completely misrepresented himself. once i got to see him in person, i realized that the one photo that he did include in his online profile had to have been from at least 10 years ago, which is when i would have dated him: when he was younger and fresher. [red flag no. 4: low self esteem. if you've gone through the trouble to compose an online profile about yourself, at least have the common decency to include an accurate photo, say within the last few months? come on!]

anywho, long story short, i'm through with bisexuals for the time being. onward and upward...

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 08.08.07 8:35 AM

true story. i'm a member of this god-awful dating web site that caters to neither the straights nor the gays, but to both. i guess it's some kind of "match site for all of humanity" or something queer like that.

at any rate, last night i picked up a flirt from another guy and was like, "damn, he's pretty hot." so i bite, and send him a quick what, to, for.

seconds after sending my note to him, i'm doing a double-take of his profile and then i see it, big as a las vegas showgirl's fake breasts: "man seeking women."

i'm like, "what the frick?" i had just sent a flirtatious e-mail to a guy who wasn't even interested in the first place. needless to say, mortified was i.

then i get a note back from him. he'd be interested in chatting. a wave of relief washed over me, but the initial confusion lingered as well. what gives? i have to ask: "i got nervous there for a minute, because your profile says that you are seeking women. why is that?"

he replies, again very quickly: "that's how I originally posted it. i am bi. they don't exactly have a category for that on this site. i am monogamous and open to a serious relationship, whatever 'package' the person may come in."

was he for real? i had to respond. after all, i'd seen that early episode of sex in the city (season 2, episode 21, "boy, girl, boy, girl...") when carrie dates that cute, young bisexual guy. they end up attending a party where her date's ex-boyfriend is celebrating his engagement to another man, and their adoption of their first child. i think that alanis morissette played a role as a lesbian at the party in the episode as well. they play spin the bottle and alanis' character ends up planting one on carrie. later, when carrie and her three best girlfriends are together for their weekly brunch, carrie accuses her new beau of "double-dipping."

nevertheless, i figure that i'm hip to that. i'm in the loop. i'm down with it. but still, i was confused and had to ask. my reply e-mail read as follows:

subject line: 2 points off for double-dipping

e-mail body: my first double-dipper. how honored i feel. they had a "sex in the city" episode all about your kind, you realize? i admire your outlook, though. and your spunk. it's late now, but i would definitely like to find out more. i will call you this week.

was i crazy? i'm planning on calling a guy who can't decide whether he wants to spend his intimate moments with a man or a woman? and just how rampant is this "condition" of being bi? is this guy the first of a long line of potential mates who are playing for both teams?

i think that i'm safe for now, however. i haven't received a reply to that last e-mail. probably because i insulted the shit out of him no doubt. so, for now, until i get some resolution for this developing situation, i'm going to look seriously into converting to lesbianism. i think it's the only way out. i'm so over men i can't even see straight.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 07.08.07 8:16 AM

i left my heart in san fransisco
it's at some motherfucking disco
the people there where dancin' on it
and that's including ms. matronic

hell if music is the victim then so am i
of lovin' and a cheatin' the snake gon' bite
i beg and i scream and i cuss and i cry
if music is the victim then so am i

of your bad fun
money's all gone but you need some
lover's on the phone but the got none
daddy ain't home from the dog run
and you're riding through the city with a shotgun

i left my bag in pasadena
where all them girls was doin' tina
them bitches sure where crunked up on it
i said i'd rather smoke some chronic

[chorus]

i left my man in houston, texas
just before he finished breakfast
he said, "oh baby fry some more eggs"
but i was runnin' on my own two legs

hell if jesus had the power than so do i
to rise up from the dead and take up to the sky
i'm bustin' for the money so i get by
if music is the victim then so am i

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 06.08.07 1:56 PM

back from my trip. lots to tell, but for now, a few pics. more later...

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 05.08.07 4:38 PM