31.10.06 :: desperation takes a holiday [aka diana, are you in there?]

call me crazy, but something about this costume gets lost in translation. i don't know who it is, where it is, or why it is, but i thought i would share on this scariest of scary days ...

that's all i'm sayin' ...

i will not be handing out candy this evening, so don't even bother coming by the casa. instead i will be seeing west side story at hobby center. this performance is by the theatre under the stars cast. wss is one of my favorite musicals, so i'm stoked.

hope you have a happy halloween. trust.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 31.10.06 2:15 PM

wanting to stretch the use of the $3 bowler hat he splurged on for his alex from clockwork orange costume, the ever-resourceful k.g. recycled the pricey derby for yet another outfit. using belgian surrealist rené magritte's the son of man (left) as his muse, he came up with this look, at right.

now while you would expect that the meaning and purpose of this costume while on walking display among the gay (and drunk) halloweeners in the montrose clubs was completely lost on many, i was surprised again and again by the number of partiers -- both guys and girls -- who, at a minimum, noted some level of recognition in seeing this costume. still others, although fewer in number, could actually identify the artist and fewer still were actually able to name the painting. it was simply amazing. my lesson learned from the evening: never underestimate the staying-power of the 4th grade art appreciation classes taught in the texas school systems ever again. trust!

there are no pictures of me to show you. i more-or-less went along as magritte's support system, dressed as eurotrash. the costume, of course, didn't vary much from what i would wear on a normal saturday night out on the town. well, it varied in the fact that i wore underwear, but that fact was not obvious to as many as you would expect.

i hope your halloween is scary, merry, and gay!

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 30.10.06 7:14 AM

someone looked just like alex from a clockwork orange last night ...

the real alex ...

k.g. as alex ...

stewie as alex ...

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 28.10.06 10:46 AM

i've never posted anything for half-naked thursday, so this is my virgin effort. please, those of you "in the know" advise me as to whether i've hit the mark, or if i'm way off. is there some hnt guidebook out there somewhere?

enlighten me ...

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 26.10.06 6:19 AM

i almost ran over an angel
he had a nice big fat cigar
"in a sense" he said "you're alone here
so if you jump you best jump far"
-- tori amos' "leather"

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 25.10.06 10:18 PM

had a bit of a setback yesterday after talking with a specialist that i'd been seeing since march for an ongoing physical problem i've been having. without getting too specific, i will need to have a procedure done in mid-november (out-patient) that will have me down for a few days afterward. it's never fun to be in the position of having something as delicate as your health in the hands of someone you barely know, but i have no choice in the matter. and as concerned and worried as i am about the whole thing, i know that in the end it will be for the best. (and, no, my physical problem is not my face, smartasses, and i'm not having a face lift. not yet, anyway.)

before hearing this news, i had yet another setback on thursday last week (my birthday). turns out that k.g. -- this great, great guy i met online (believe it or not) -- has never been with anyone positive before, and he's really freakin' out about it. granted, his concerns are valid -- they really are -- even if they're a little bit antiquated. meaning: his first thought was about how we could never have sex with each other and how he'd be with that. it's not even an option in his mind to have protected sex. it's just no sex. period. and secondly, he was immediately concerned about my health and having to deal with my getting sick. which, again, is a very valid concern, but chances of my getting sick anytime soon -- especially with my health record over the 10 years that i've been positive -- are very, very slim.

the truth is this: i don't want to be the first guy he's had to date who's been positive. i want him to have already gone through that with someone else. i want him to be ok with it, and i want him to say, "it's ok. things are going to work out between us." that's how much i think i like this guy, anyway. and it just pisses me off. a lot.

so, we're at a crossroads, the two of us. if he bites, and we continue dating, can i live with that shadow of doubt that i'll always feel he has about being intimate with me? that slight chance that he's become infected? and can i live with the fact that i might infect him, at any time, when one or both of us are not paying enough attention? and if he doesn't bite, and he just wants to be friends, i will be left wondering what could have been and feeling pretty fucking sorry for myself.

it's a really fucked situation if you ask me. one that i'm angry about for the moment, but that -- like with everything that frustrates me -- i will come to terms with in the coming days and weeks. i'll keep you posted as to its progress.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 24.10.06 1:46 PM

good weekend overall. the drag auction was a pretty big hit. we didn't make as much money as last year -- not by a long-shot -- but it was well attended and went off without much incident. i think that most of the "girls" had fun, as illustrated by the photos below.

i wanted to send a quick shout out to some of the guys who made the event such a great success. to wally, and his "dildos are forever" number -- you are a comic genius. to beau and his quick wit -- what a perfect "will truman" you were to wally's "grace adler." you both rock! to ben -- thanks for fighting your cold to make the event that much more special. to joshua -- you will always look better than me in makeup and a dress (you perra). to lloyd, and his valveda peron -- don't cry for me, argentina, even though we could all see caracus through your dress! to mark, thanks for going through with something that i know was a little scary at first. didn't you have a blast? to ricky, you are the hottest! thanks for going shirtless, you gorgeous man, you.

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 23.10.06 6:44 AM

i woke up this morning feeling an overpowering sense of gratitude. so much so, in fact, that i feel compelled to compose and share this list of the people and things that i am most thankful for on this, the day marking the end of my 37th year on this planet of ours (this list is by no means complete and it is not ordered by importance). with that, i am thankful today for ...

001 :: my good friend and neighbor, mary, and the gorgeous (and f*cking delicious) vanilla butter-cream cake she gave me to share with my friends last night at the final meeting of the greater houston area gay project runway support group (ghagprsg)

002 :: my friends in the ghagprsg and our dedication to meeting every wednesday night to catch who was in, and who was auf'd -- what a season it was!

003 :: jeffrey winning pr season 3 last night. way to go! gorgeous collections, everyone (except for michael's -- sorry, michael)

004 :: meeting k.g. and the fabulous first date on tuesday night, and the dinner date we're going on tonight (fabulous way to celebrate the day, to be sure)

005 :: the cold front that blew into the bayou city last night (please, last all day long; and don't rain)

006 :: my cat, badger, and her unconditional love and support (we're going to have to get rid of those fleas, darlin'. now, stop your licking)

007 :: my parents, who are enjoying the hawaiian islands on their cruise and for the fact that they didn't tender to the big island as the earthquake was in full swing

008 :: my brothers, my sisters-in-law, and my three beautiful nephews

009 :: my friend, mark, who i will dine with on sunday night (sorry for breaking tradition, but you need to meet k.g., and then you'll understand)

010 :: tori amos, and her fabulous cd box set, a piano, the collection. i listen to it everyday in my car on my ride into work

011 :: god, and all the miracles he performs in my life everyday

012 :: saturday's drag auction, that it will finally be over with and that it will be a complete success

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 19.10.06 8:14 AM

so, thursday is my birthday. and i know this is short notice, but i wanted to give you some gift ideas, because i know that shopping for someone who has everything is so difficult.

have a good tuesday.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 17.10.06 6:27 AM

i feel fine this morning, but my brain is too worn out to think of anything to write. so, that said, here is some eye candy to look at for now. then, below that, you can read this year's winners of the washington post's mensa invitational challenge for readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

oo1 :: intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

002 :: reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

oo3 :: bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. the bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

004 :: cashtration (n.): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

005 :: giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

006 :: sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

007 :: inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

008 :: hipatitis: terminal coolness.

009 :: osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit.)

010 :: karmageddon: it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? and then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

011 :: decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. (this word doesn’t technically conform with the rules of the contest but it is still funny)

012 :: glibido: all talk and no action.

013 :: dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

014 :: arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. (this word doesn’t technically conform with the rules of the contest but it is still funny)

015 :: beelzebug (n.): satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

016 :: caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

and the pick of the lot ... (and my personal favorite)

017 :: ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an asshole.

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 16.10.06 6:53 AM

in case you missed it [read: in case you live under a rock somewhere] last night's episode of project runway lived up to all the scandalous hype. there is definitely something going on that may disqualify designer jeffrey sebelia, keeping him from showing his collection under the tents at bryant park during olympus fashion week (of course, i realize that jeffrey did in fact show his collection, but it's a question of whether or not he is one of the four designers who's collection will be aired in next week's finale episode).

so, the rundown of the runway controversy goes like this: fellow pr contestant (and strong contender to win the whole ball of wax) laura bennett started in with the accusations against sebelia shortly after all 4 designers reached new york to prepare their lines for showing under the tents. since jeffrey appeared to bennett and the other designers to have little -- if anything -- to do to put the finishing touches on his collection, laura took mentor tim gunn aside to accuse jeffrey of cheating by getting outside help to finish his sewing. bennett said, "i believe it's his designs, but you just don't pull craftsmanship like that out of your ass." pretty harsh, wouldn't you say? of course, gunn promised an investigation into the allegations and jeffrey denied getting any inappropriate help. (incidentally, previews for next week's show -- the cliffhanger we've all been waiting for -- shows jeffrey sobbing on uli's shoulder after gunn announces something important.)

other precious moments? read on.

in last night's episode, gunn visited each of the 4 designers at their respective homes to check out their progress. below are some of his thoughts, followed by one unexpected moment...

gunn to michael knight :: "it looks like you were trying too hard."

gunn to laura bennett :: suggested "youthing it up" after having a look at her initial designs.

bennett to pr audience :: "i really want to win, if not for any other reason, just so that jeffrey doesn't win."

gunn to uli :: "i'm worried about the judges saying you’re a one-note. what about this collection is going to surprise them?"

another funny moment :: while visiting laura, gunn got to "interact" with all 5 of bennett's sons. one even offered a gift to gunn. "what's that? what is it?" tim asked. the kid answered. tim replied, "ew. i don't think i want any turtle poop. i'm drawing the line at the turtle poop."

laura explained that the tortoise turd was no doubt "an olive branch" extended to gunn as a way to say, "welcome to our clan; have some turtle poop."

priceless.

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 12.10.06 1:49 PM

good weekend overall. busy monday at work, though.

over the weekend, for whatever reason, i did quite a lot of stalking reading on gay.com. whenever i'm on the site, i'm either checking out the prospects that came up in their brilliant searches that they e-mail to me or i'm looking over profiles and photos of the offerings in the bayou city. lately, these haven't been too promising. truthfully, these have been downright depressing.

some examples follow. i've posed these observations in the form of questions, as i am confused about a few aspects of the whole gay.com phenomenon.

001 :: when one posts a photo of his crotch, in a pair of bikini briefs, with his "goodies" resting on a table, and on the table alongside his goodies sits an apple, what are we supposed to take away from this? i'm clueless. i have seen photos with guys' penii next to soda cans or beer cans -- for the obvious comparison reasons -- but with nothing but an apple to compare with, i'm not sure i follow the logic. my guess is that an apple was the only thing in the fridge to place next to your privates. but think about it: sphere vs. cylindar. see what i mean? and, if a size comparison is what he was after, how are we to know this is a big, red delicious apple and not the smaller, macintosh variety? again, the photo raises more questions than it answers. i'm just sayin'.

002 :: if you're going to post a close-up photo of your penis or of your ass spread wide open, why on earth would you have photos locked as "private?" after seeing your penis -- being able to see every square inch of hair and every vein -- as well as your ass, what pray tell could possibly be in your private photo? would this be a photo of your inner ear? or of the bottom of your foot? it just seems rediculous to me.

003 :: my last question is for the guy who posted a clothed, torso shot. no head, no legs, just a side view of his fat, clothed torso. and the only other photo offering in his profile? a swimming pool. what the f*ck? is this supposed to send them running toward your home? "guys, this guy is really out of shape, and old, and doesn't take care of himself, but look! he's got a pool!"

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 10.10.06 7:34 AM

i woke up this morning craving pancakes.

i've made coffee and am reading the onslaught of magazines that my postman has crammed into my mail box during the week. i'm a magazine junkie: advocate, male vogue, gq, genre, out, instinct, architectural digest. you name the magazine, i'm a subscriber.

i do need to go to the store first, however. you see, although i have boybutter, i'm all out of boysyrup.

enjoy your day. trust.

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 08.10.06 9:23 AM

this boy is a total hottie. the reason i like this particular video -- and as far as youtube videos go, it takes a lot to impress me -- is because it looks like it was professionally filmed, and the boy is hotter than hot (white hot, if you will), and he doesn't appear to be a total snob or too conceited.

i don't, however, like the fact that that he licks his biceps. i think that gay boys shouldn't lick their muscles; it's not attractive. ever. they should reserve their licks for ice cream, lolly pops, and other guys' penii.

thanks to j.j. at urbanboys for the link.

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 07.10.06 10:24 AM

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh...And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

-- e.e. cummings (1925)

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 06.10.06 7:55 AM

on sept. 28, david letterman had some fun with the nightly top-10 list sending up former new jersey gov. jim mcgreevey, who's "warts-and-all" biography, the confession, chronicles his secret homosexual life.

here are late night's top-10 chapter titles for mcgreevey's tome:

10 :: "the day i got caught governing myself"
09 :: "how to pretend to like girls for 47 years"
08 :: "from schwarzenegger to pataki: governors i'd like to oil up"
07 :: "another confession -- i can't resist entenmann's pound cake"
06 :: "at first i just thought i was bipartisan"
05 :: "the new jersey budget crisis -- what would judy garland do?"
04 :: "a look at the governor's balls"
03 :: "politicians who left a bad taste in my mouth"
02 :: "how to push through a bill -- or a steve or a larry"

and the no. 1 chapter title -- drum roll, please!

01 :: "why i don't like bush"

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 05.10.06 8:44 AM

so, yesterday was a complete waste of my time. just so you know, when you get summoned to jury duty for the municipal court system in your city, be prepared to have your entire day sucked from existance. i'm just sayin'...

so, tonight is reunion night on project runway. i just love how they tank everyone up on booze before putting them in one studio together to be filmed in front of millions of people.

i'm having a couple of friends over to watch the fabric swatches and faux fur fly as keith michael rejoins the cast after being ejected from the show for having pattern books in his room. and if he pulls out that "i was just a scapegoat" story again, i think i'll just bust. talented? yes. but a manipulative liar, yes as well.

and then we can watch angela face off against jeffrey over angela's mother. that should be good.

and then there's malan. whatever.

all they need now is to have season 1's wendy pepper and season 2's zulema griffin face off in front of everyone. now that would be good television!

tonight on bravo. watch what happens!

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 04.10.06 8:11 AM

jury duty today. and it's not even criminal court, or even civil court. it's municipal.

what is that, anyway? isn't that like traffic tickets and stuff? why do they need jurors for that?

but i shouldn't complain. come the end of the day, i'll be $6 richer. well, before taxes anyway.

of course, that $6 will have to go toward lunch. or parking. wait a minute. this isn't going to be the good deal i thought it was going to be. what a jip! there should be a law.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 03.10.06 6:57 AM

i finally found out the real name of mr. tattoo model: jonathan jesensky. currently, jonathan resides in san diego. he has an awesome web site with way more photos than you would ever want of him. click here.

so now i know that the photos below and those in my 20.09.06 post are from his site. photo credits apply. (all 3 photos below from jesensky.com.)

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 02.10.06 7:12 AM

so, this post is for my friend david. while watching last week's project runway at his house along with all the other members of the greater houson area gay project runway support group, we all saw a commercial for that show, "celebrities-that-were-once-thin-but-now-have-their-own-personal-zip-codes." (i personally don't watch it, so i don't really know what it's called, nor do i really care to know.)

anyway, a face flashes across the screen and i turn to david and everyone else and ask: "was that just who i thought it was? was that fuckin' kelly lebrock? as in weird science kelly lebrock? as in the woman in red kelly lebrock? what the hell happened?"

just a few things before i get into this, however. i just want to say that i'm a little slow on the uptake with this revelation. turns out that that show -- celebrity fit club 3 -- with her in it aired a while back (in 2005, actually), and they are already on the next set of famous fatties.

also, another thing is that i don't want to be misunderstood here. let me be the first to say that kelly lebrock is gorgeous. she was gorgeous then, and she is still gorgeous now (see photos above). plus, her accent drives even the gay ones crazy. so honestly, that's not my point in this post. i just thought that someone who was so body conscious would have done something to maintain herself over the years, you know what i'm saying? kelly weighed in at 175 lbs. at the start of that episode of cfc3. she also had 30% bodyfat. she was shooting to reach 140 lbs. and 23% bodyfat. whether she made it or not, i'm not certain.

but i did do some research online about ms. lebrock (this is the part you wanted to read about, david, so pay attention).

of course, most people remember her as lisa, the model created in the 1985 movie weird science. others might remember her for her pantene "don't hate me because i'm beautiful" commercials. still others might recall her role as herself in 1984's the woman in red (her acting debut).

lebrock was born march 24, 1960, in new york, n.y., but was raised in london (thus, the accent). she started her career as a model at age 16 and went on to appear on hundreds of covers and magazines, including a christian dior ad. kelly also became one of eileen ford's most sought-after models.

she married steven segal in 1987, then divorced him in 1996. she had 3 kids with him: annaliza, dominick, and arrisa. as her career dwindled, she even put a softcore movie under her belt.

lebrock gave up her acting career in order to raise her children, and experienced a notable weight gain over the years. in 2005, expressing a desire to lose weight and restart her film career (as indicated in an interview for entertainment tonight), lebrock signed with cable channel vh-1 as a contestant on cfc3, where she was captain of "kellies bellies" on the show.

so, that's all i know. anyone else have some more details?

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 01.10.06 2:33 PM