31.08.06 :: you're out, you artsy craftsy macaroni gluer!

ok, it's not quite thursday yet, but i already wrote today (wednesday) and i'm watching project runway now and i need to get something written tonight because i have to be up at the crack of my ass dawn tomorrow to catch my jet plane. quite apropos, don't you think? given that tonight's challenge had the 7 remaining designers jet-setting across the atlantic to paris.

and angela (and not vincent) got the boot. and jeffrey won (finally). in my humble opinion, i didn't think angela had the skill to go beyond sewing her rosettes anywhere and everywhere. also, i started out not liking jeffrey, but now i see that he's got a very strong point of view.

there are no photos to post yet, because bravo has not updated its web site (spoke too soon; just refreshed my web browser and wouldn't you know, photos galore!), but let me just tell you that when the french judge told kayne that he looked like "a fake rock star" in her thick parisian accent, i almost pooped my pants. and when jeffrey called angela an "artsy craftsy macaroni gluer," well, let's just say i almost added more poop.

that said, i'm off to bed now. i'll miss you all in houston, but i'll see you again on labor day. have great weekends, the lot of you.

ok, i'm not in bed yet. i was just on the blogging project runway site, and i came across this photo. bpr got it from blogger rich juzwiak of brooklyn, n.y., at fourfour. i thought it was so freakin' funny, especially considering that vincent should have been auf'd before now. please check out the site; the guy is brilliant.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 30.08.06 11:26 PM

jesus, what a week. why is it that whenever you try to take some time off, get out of town, relax and unwind, you are faced with mounds of work before you leave and, without fail, you will face mounds of work when you return? it just doesn't make any sense. what the fuck are vacation days for? you certainly can't use them without causing any drama at your place of employment. you may as well get cash for them at the end of the year. that's all i'm sayin'.

it's been particularly bad [read: stressful] this week due to coworkers being out sick, or just out of the office. i have a new stomach ulcer. i think i will call him george. and i will feed him, and hug him, and squeeze him, and love him ...

a new episode of project runway will air tonight on bravo. seven designers remain -- angela, jeffrey, laura, michael, vincent, uli, and kayne. who will be out? who will win? what will the challenge be? i won't be able to watch tonight with my usual support group (sorry guys; i will miss you), because i have so much to take care of at home before my early morning flight to pennsyltucky tomorrow. but i will be there in spirit.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 30.08.06 2:23 PM

what is sexy? it really depends on the person, i think. plus, there are so many kinds of sexiness: physical, intellectual, and so on and so forth.

this guy mark from somewhere on the planet earth launched a site on blogspot last month called sexy gay blogger of the day. his nomination requirements are below. feel free to nominate me check it out.

here are mark's requirements to nominate a sexy gay blogger of the day:
001 :: a photo of the sexy blogger must be available on his site or in his profile.
002 :: type a sexy e-mail to mark that includes the link to the nominated sexy blogger's blog.
003 :: tell mark why you think the blogger is sexy, remembering that mark will quote you.
004 :: tell mark if he can use your name.
005 :: tell mark how much you love his blog.
006 :: tell mark that you think he must be hot as well (there are no photos of him on the site, so some imagination is required here).
007 :: sign the e-mail to mark with something raunchy.
008 :: type mark's address in the "to" line: sexy-guy-blog@hotmail.com.
009 :: press "send."
010 :: mark says not to be shy to nominate yourself. he likes a confidant man. and he won’t mention that you nominated yourself -- that will be yours and his dirty little secret …

(photo above from jesensky.com).

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 29.08.06 8:23 AM

i'm not as pissed off as i look. honestly. i was trying my best to look pensive and engulfed in thought. i'm hoping that these are the last photos to be taken of me with a freakin' cigarette in my hand. i think that during my trip to pennsyltucky this weekend i am going on the patch and just getting this thing over with. we'll see what happens when i get home. a new, smoke-free lonestarsteve? or a defeated, beaten down tobacco addict?

tune in next week ...

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 28.08.06 8:08 AM

i know. i know. i'm really late with this write-up. i've had some issues. some computer-related. some time-related. some sleep-related. in short, i've been a white hot mess for the last few days. but i'm getting better, and i don't want to take space here bitching about anything negative. i just won't do it.

that said, i had started this write-up last thursday on last week's episode of project runway and since i spent so much time on it (and since i don't want to waste any of my brilliant writing skills), i'm going to go ahead and post it now. just pretend that it isn't 4-day-old news and we'll both be right as rain. ok? good.

the last episode of pr pitted the remaining 8 designers against one another to design a look for "the everyday woman." little did they know that the models would be none other than each designers' mother or sister. what a mind fuck! not only that, but each designer had to choose an unrelated model. this had trouble written all over it. the designers chose as follows. they kind of broke out into two incestuous groups:

group 1 (the angela-laura-jeffrey group):
angela chose lorraine, laura's mother.
laura chose pam, jeffrey's mother.
jeffrey chose darlene, angela's mother (i know, i know. but he was the last to chose and darlene was the last mother standing).

group 2 (the michael-robert-vincent-uli-kayne group):
michael chose terese, robert's sister.
robert chose patricia, vincent's sister.
vincent chose heidi, uli's mother.
uli chose judy, kayne's mother.
kayne chose pamela, michael's mother.

the challenge was complete with a surprise guest judge. none other than michael kors' mother joan. surprise! wonderful woman, she. looked just like michael in drag, bless her heart.

with 30 minutes to consult and $150 to spend at mood, the designers have their work cut out for them (especially since using their usual dress forms for this particular challenge proves to be an exercise in futility. can i just say that many of the mothers and sisters were "big-boned").

the only true drama occurred when angela's mom darlene spoke candidly to tim gunn about jeffrey's choice in fabric for her outfit. i think that they were both being rediculous drama queens, but feelings nevertheless were hurt and tears were shed. this isn't the last you've heard about conflict between angela and jeffrey, let's just put it that way.

vincent (how, i don't know) won this challenge with the brown and tan number at left for uli's mom heidi. i wasn't impressed. and neither was gunn, who write in his blog: "let’s begin with his model ... tall, gorgeous, and has a great figure. so vincent was not even remotely challenged by the prospect of working with a new size, shape, or set of proportions. therefore, his only challenge was design … and what was that? from my point of view, he made a simple sheath and adorned it with an oversized pilgrim-collar, and a collar that merely stood out on the front of the dress and didn’t even exist on the back. huh?"

robert was auf'd. his design for vincent's sister patricia (right) was a hot mess to be sure. gunn says, "how does one respond to a black jersey sleeveless muumuu with a coral red jersey voluminous kimono jacket?" well, one responds by kicking the designer responsible off the show, that's how. it was a shame to see robert go, but his stuff was getting a little boring. did he really design for barbie? what did he design for her, burkas?

pam, jeffrey's mom, looked classy in her design by laura. gunn called it "a dull thud of an outfit," however. he says, "it was matronly in a british, lady-of-the-manor way."

the navy skirt, celadon blouse, and accent scarf was typical laura. and was a little on the boring side. laura took into account pam's love of travel, and especially cruises. gunn puts it this way: "pam had expressed a desire for an everyday outfit for a cruise, but i don’t believe she meant for staffing the cruise." good one, tim. you have such a way with words and images.

angela’s design for laura's mom lorraine was ok. it probably could have benefitted from less fringe (or no fringe, for that matter). you can't really see it in the photo, but it's there, staring us all in the face.

the worst outfit (even worse than robert's blanket number) was jeffrey’s design for angela's mom darlene, who gunn says should receive the week's "jubilee jumbles" award. he writes, "It was a monastic, floor-length atrocity. (a holy mess, pun intended!) if he intended to seek revenge upon darlene for the infractions he perceived she committed towards him, then he succeeded with this outfit. it’s one thing to declare that you don’t understand plus-size women (which he did declare), but it’s another to design a mortifying sack of a hideous dress."

michael’s design for robert's sister teresa in my opinion looked like a diner waitress uniform (sorry michael). it was reversable, which was clever enough for the "everyday woman," but why would she want to come home from work, flip her dress inside-out, and wait on tables for the rest of the night? i'm just sayin'.

i thought that kayne's design for pamela, michael's mom, was pretty cool. you have to take into account once again that these women were really difficult to make clothes for. how does one really create the "illusion" of a waist on a 200+ lb. woman? or "trick the eye" into thinking she's statuesque when she's 5' 2"? i don't think so. designers might think they can do it, but thin is thin, and fat is fat. enough said.

lastly, uli’s design for kayne's mom judy was also cool and hip. the judges gave uli praise for her design, but not enough to win the challenge. gunn writes, " i am loath to disagree with the judges, but if michael’s design was brilliant, then uli’s was pure genius. adorable judy personifies the everyday woman in every way. she’s not a model size, has a limited shopping budget and resources, and would greatly benefit from some sage fashion advice. uli delivered it all: silhouette, proportion, fit, fabrics, and style. it was a fabulous achievement. bravo, uli!"

<<< >>>

separately, i will be getting ready to visit pennsyltucky yet again over labor day weekend. needless to say, i will be flying out early thursday morning, so i will have to watch this week's episode of pr on my own, then pack, grab some sleep, and wake up early the next day. i will not draw any support from the gang: the greater houston area gay project runway support group. i will miss you guys. save my seat for sept. 6.

peace out.

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 27.08.06 11:38 PM

it's already wednesday and i haven't written since saturday. that's bad. bad for business, bad for morale, just bad all around.

my weekend went by quickly, but was very restful. below are the details ...

laundry :: washed, folded, and put up. check.
dishes :: washed, dried, and left on counter and in sink. check.
litter box :: emptied (my cat's, not mine). check.
social obligations :: fulfilled. check.
sleep deficit :: paid back in full. check.

sounds boring, huh? well, it's not so bad. it could be worse. much worse. for example ...

laundry :: don't have clothes, so none to wash. check.
dishes :: only use plasticware. none to wash. check.
litter box :: both you and cat started pooping in the closet, so litter box no longer necessary. check.
social obligations :: no friends, no plans, no worries. check.
sleep deficit :: sleep all day long, so in a surplus position. check.

how life has changed for me over the last 3+ years. it's very different now. i'm more self-reliant. i'm more responsible. and i'm happier for it. i thought for a long time that i would fail -- that failing would be inevitable -- but how i've prooved those thoughts wrong. completely wrong. now that's progress.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 23.08.06 1:32 PM

it rained like hell this morning. then it stopped. but i still didn't feel much like venturing outside. too much to do inside, i suppose. always shit to do here in my disorganized little world.

but i did manage to make it out to central market. i don't go there normally to shop, but a friend insisted because of their incredible selection. i swear, you could find anything there. it was actually a tad bit overwhelming to me. i ended up buying a toblerone and some fancy-schmancy [read: expensive] coffee. but that was it. outing done. but i do have something to do tonight.

i'll be seeing the encore run of daniel johnston's speeding motorcycle at the axiom downtown tonight with my neighbors phara and mikas from upstairs (i wrote about them last month; see l.s.s. 22.07.07 :: i'd like to get to know you...). it should be good. they tell me that the play (actually some kind of musical or rock opera, i think) is hysterical and and strange and has a good vibe to it. we'll have to see. supposedly there will be surprise appearances by captain america, casper the friendly ghost, and a chorus of skeletons, whatever that means. mine is not to question why in this case.

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 19.08.06 4:45 PM

i'm being as serious as a pulmonary embolism when i say that last night's episode of project runway just might have turned me off to the show for the rest of the season. sad, but possibly true.

and i must say, my sentiments are likely shared by many now-former pr fans. reasons for this, you ask? for starters, i disagree with almost all that occured in episode 6, "waste not, want not." i disagree that alison was unfairly auf'd, i disagree that vincent was irrationally not auf'd, and i disagree with the fact that the judges producers took into account past challenges for some designers (kayne, for example), while not taking the same into account for others (in this case, alison).

in this challenge, the 9 remaining designers were driven to new jersey, of all places, to the waste management recycle america facility. there they were asked to source materials from the mounds of paper, plastic, and metal in order to fabricate an inspired -- yet wearable -- creation. [sidenote: the challenge reminded me of derek zoolander's nemesis mugatu and his "derelict" fashion collection composed of trash bags and garbage. oy vey!]

but i digress.

michael won. this is his second win, and in a row no less. he is the first season 3 designer to win more than one challenge. (daniel v. from season 2 has to hold some kind of record for challenges won, or did kara saun from season 1 blow him out of the water? don't remember).

michael's outfit was good, not great, but good. in his blog, tim gunn writes, "michael’s look was very real world, very believable." his materials were a vinyl-coated burlap peanut sack, some mylar tubing (reverse gold side), and clear plastic. what did you think?

alison was auf'd. fucking pity. gunn called it "a tragic outcome."

alison had some difficulties with her first design idea and ended up creating her entire look out of plain manila paper. however boring her material, gunn wrote that her look was "an origami and sculptural masterpiece." the judges, on the other hand, had trouble with the asymmetry of the outfit. they also were bothered about the design making alison's already-gargantuan model look even bulkier, if that was possible.

like alison, kayne's design began as a disaster waiting to happen. before coming up with this winner (not) he had actually spent time creating a white, heavily textured paper bustier with back lacing. and on the back? why, a huge mylar bow! why the hell not. he's queer. he's there. get used to it.

the bustier top was paired with what gunn called "a preposterous full-length skirt that looked like is was made with a hammer and nails." the modified look was better, but was still "a hot mess," gunn said, adding, "frankly, it looked like it was going to pattycake’s birthday party at angela’s art camp."

funny, tim. well put.

who do i think should have won? jeffrey. his design -- made almost entirely of painted newspaper -- had color. it had interest. it was editorial. it had whimsy. he also deserves a win, i think. but more importantly, if michael, kayne, or angela win one more challenge before he does, i have a feeling that he's going to go wendy pepper on everyone's ass. i'm just sayin'.

laura's look was ok. a little simple and boring, but ok. is it just me, or is laura a "one note." tim made such a big deal about calling chloe a one note last season. why hasn't he done so with laura yet?

her materials were similar to michael's: a vinyl-coated burlap peanut sack. she manipulated the sack’s label, obscuring the "pea" in "peanut," so that it read, "for nuts only" on the model's back. clever or just crazy? i ask you.

vincent was the sixth designer kept out on the runway at the end. he also was -- once again -- almost auf'd. he's been second-to-last for a few times now. you'd think he would really be worried about his chances on the show. but he doesn't seem to be. why, you ask? because he's a weirdo. plain and simple. the movement of vincent's model -- another amazon -- was hindered by the stiffness of his design. she looked as though she were trying to walk while wearing an enormous toilet paper roll that had fallen into a confetti factory. i mean, honestly. what will it take for vincent to get heidi's size 4 prada boot?

outfits that i would give honorable mention include angela's, robert's, and uli's. angela made a cute jumper/overall using magazine covers, cardboard, and mylar. very quilt-like. very angela. gunn didn't like angela's design. i thought it was passible.

uli's look was incredible. she wove silver mylar into white paper to make a skirt. gunn said, "the look was modern and youthful, and ready to walk out onto the street and to a cocktail party." way to go, uli. you'll win again.

robert might not have been very innovative, but he certainly wasn't boring either. he used only mylar, making a dress fit for a whore. you go, robert.

"she's a streetwalker, not a disco ball." practice what you preach, honey.

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 17.08.06 2:36 PM

i should quit smoking.
i should take better care of myself.
i should eat better.
i should get more sleep.
i should watch less t.v.
i should call my friends and family more.
i should lose 15 lbs.
i should save more money.
i should go to the gym more regularly.
i should volunteer for charities.
i should be on time for work.
i should finally clean my closets.
i should call my mother. today.
i should mean what i say.
i should just lighten up.
i should laugh more.
i should ...

listen to me. i'm should-ing all over myself.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 16.08.06 8:31 AM

i realize that it's a strain -- even painful -- for some of you to point your web browsers to lonestarsteve (dot) com everyday and find nothing but write-ups about project runway. i try to please everyone (actually, that's a lie. i don't try to please anyone. it's still my blog site, damnit).

needless to say, i don't just live and breathe project runway. i've got other interests. like bitching about going to work on monday mornings. or complaining about my stunted career path. or bitching about my lack of a boyfriend. or ranting about friends who are addicted to crystal meth. (now you see why i tend to stick to project runway write-ups; it's creative avoidance. denial, if you will. the good, the bad, and the ugly. life is just too real sometimes.)

but i digress. i guess my point this morning, quite simply, is this: i don't want to go to work this morning. and i'm unfulfilled at my place of work. and every guy i meet (other than friends) are complete and total losers unfit for relationships. and my friend had better stop doing tina while he's still got two brain cells to rub together.

enough said? now, ya'll come back now, ya hear? just look at the pretty picture and think good thoughts. pay no heed to what you've read here today. tomorrow is just over that horizon...

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 14.08.06 8:15 AM

[blogger's note: i'm a little late in writing about this. jill, will you forgive me?]

you know, i really thought wednesday night's episode of project runway was really entertaining.

quite a few format changes, including allowing the 12 remaining models to pick their designers (as well as choosing the fashion icons on which to base their designs).

the challenge for the remaining 10? modernize the look of a fashion icon. the fashion icons? the likes of cher, madonna, diana ross, jackie o., farrah fawcett, twiggy, marylin monroe, katherine hepburn, audrey hepburn, and pam grier.

michael pulled out a win (finally) with his hot-pant version of something miss foxy brown herself, pam grier, would wear today.

in his blog, tim gunn writes, "michael’s work has been consistently strong ever since the first challenge (the coffee filter dress, remember?), but in this challenge he exceeded even his own high expectations. ... while shopping, michael committed to a pink silk, period, so his palette was clearly established. ... the top was sublime: intricately structured, very modern, and extremely sexy. it cried, 'foxy brown!'"

michael's 11th hour epiphany -- to substitute his original skirt with hot pants -- was what seduced judges into naming him winner of this challenge. and he was up against some pretty stiff competition. well, except for the work of 3 designers: robert, vincent, and poor, poor bradley.

bradley was voted "out" for his tin-foil nightmare of a crop top and fringed white, tight-fitting pants (cameltoe not included).

bradley's challenge? design an updated look for fashion diva cher. bradley's problem? he didn’t know who cher is. gunn writes of this fact: "bradley, have you been living on a desert island?"

gunn continues, "bradley created a poorly sewn basic top out of a preposterous iridescent silver fabric (tin woodsman, look out!), and accompanied it with a plain white pant, also poorly made and with serious crotch issues. ugh. there was no way of rescuing this tragedy. bradley, get thee to a record store and find the 'c' section."

all the other designers, except for vincent and robert, created outstanding looks. photos of these are available on bravo.com.

kayne designed for marilyn monroe. gunn wrote that "he created a total 'wow.'" who else but our kayne could take black calfskin, nude stretch lycra, black sheer stretch mesh, and black crystal beads and whip up something as beautiful as this confection of a full-length formal gown.

robert designed for jackie o. in my opinion, for two days worth of work and $150, robert (for the second time) didn't come up with anything earth-shattering.

gunn writes, "robert is mr. quality, taste, and style personified, but he lost his footing. when we returned to the workroom from shopping, i was completely perplexed by his choice of an oatmeal linen for the suit that he designed. it was such a burlap-y, farmhand look, made even more homely by his decision to use a rope (!) for the jacket’s belt. what’s jackie doing, making a guest appearance on the simple life?"

gunn continues about robert's creation: "this rough hewn jacket and skirt were paired with a diaphanous, elegant little camisole, the incongruity of which created even more of a head-scratcher. huh? i didn’t get it. when robert’s look walked the runway, i have to say that i really loved it. the silhouette was lovely, the proportions were beautiful, and the overall look was casual, yet dressy. however, nothing about the look said, 'mrs. kennedy onassis.' robert, thank bradley for laying such a big egg that you were spared this misstep."

vincent's model jia chose twiggy for him to remake. girl, i just thought this look was so very wrong on so many different levels. my prediction? mr. vincent is the next to go. there's no way he's going to continue getting away with walking his wacky shit down the runway.

gunn writes, "i was more than a little stunned that robert was one of the last two on the runway, because i would have kept vincent up there and spared robert altogether.

"no, i wouldn’t have chosen vincent to be out over bradley (sorry bradley), but i would have let vincent sweat it out a little more. what was he thinking? the plaid? the flared sleeve? the wrap of the dress with the graphic asymmetry of the plaid and black fabric? those pockets? and the makeup? jia looked like a cartoon! the only thing missing was a hat. vincent, you owe twiggy an apology!"

well put, tim. i couldn't agree with you more.

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 11.08.06 8:09 AM

my sister-in-law told me the other day that her monday night episodes of project runway on nbc (on regular t.v.) were ubruptly stopped. she doesn't subscribe to cable.

it turns out that nbc only had intended to air the first two episodes of the bravo t.v. fashion reality series' third season. pity. now she'll have to rely on lonestarsteve for her weekly updates on the drama.

just so you're up to date, below are the 10 remaining designers. my pick for a winner tomorrow night is laura. i don't know why. my pick for the auf'd designer, unfortunately, is robert. i think he's lost some of his initial confidence from the last challenge (we saw him mouthing "ouch" on the runway last week when he was told by hostess heidi klum that his outfit was unimaginative and a complete bore -- ouch, indeed!)

bradley baumkirchner, 32, los angeles, calif.	robert best, 36, west hollywood, calif.
alison kelly, 25, brooklyn, n.y.	kayne gillaspie, 27, norman, okla.
jeffrey sebelia, 36, los angeles, calif.	angela keslar, 33, amesville, ohio
laura bennett, 42, new york, n.y.	uli herzner, 35, miami beach, fla.
vincent libretti, 49, santa monica, calif.	michael knight, 28, atlanta, ga.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 08.08.06 2:05 PM

i was given an incredible gift. an early birthday present from an incredible friend. basically, this "gift" will get me to anywhere i would want to visit on the planet. with options being limitless, i'm torn.

in some brief e-mail exchanges with fellow blogger (and white-hot in his own right) aussielicious, i inquired about what sydney is like, and when the best time would be to visit, etc. i don't know why australia immediately popped into my mind as an exotic place to visit. i guess it's the fact that it's just so freakin' far away (24 hr flight from houston) and the time zone difference alone is crazy (i'm sitting in houston, enjoying my coffee, at 10:30 a.m. on saturday, and the aussies are probably asleep, because it's 15 hrs. later there -- 1 a.m. on sunday).

my friend from down under informed me that in all the land of oz, sydney would in fact be the place to visit as a gay man who is after sandy beaches and what-not [read: hot, steamy sex with the locals].

also, the sydney inhabitants have their mardi gras and after-party on the first saturday in march. it is peak gay tourist season there at that time, with spectacular weather.

so, with this in mind, i am going to contemplate going for a visit. unless anyone out there has some travel tips that they would like to share. so, that's my question for the day: if money wasn't an obstacle, where would you go and why?

have a great weekend. love & luck, and all that.

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 05.08.06 10:36 AM

thanks to blogging project runway for this blatantly doctored photo, used without permission here.

it captures completely what the show was all about before tonight's episode. keith was a favorite. keith was talented. keith could have won this season's project runway.

but keith cheated. plain and simple. and now he's out.

let the real competition begin!

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 02.08.06 11:55 PM