31.12.05 :: kiss the year goodbye, the sweetness and the sorrow ...

this picture is just plain wrong on so many levels, but you have to admire a guy who's secure enough with his own body to don an adult diaper in public.

i'm really looking forward to 2006, full of its possibilities, and mysteries, and surprises. i'm happy to report that i remember nearly every moment of 2005: its happy times and its sorrowful times. it wasn't always like that. i would make it through some years where everything (and i mean everything) was just a blur, and the wreckage left behind was nothing but a string of bad, half-remembered memories. not good.

highlights, both bad and good, from 2005 follow:
-- getting to meet (and later date) kevin from austin
-- the release of tori's the beekeeper and getting to see her twice in two different cities
-- celebrating my 2-year sobriety anniversary in january (i'll be turning 3 next month)
-- my friend, beck's, visit in february
-- meeting (and dating) brandon
-- seeing falstaff at houston grand opera
-- telling my story in may at lambda center
-- getting a staph infection on my stomach, and getting rid of it
-- my trip to l.a. to see my friend, brad
-- participating in the miss lambda pageant
-- trying to quit smoking (and failing miserably)
-- suffering through houston's long, long hot summer
-- hurricanes cindy, dennis, emily, katrina, and rita (jesus!)
-- my vacation with my family in nags head, n.c. (10 days of pure bliss)
-- high gasoline prices
-- finally getting a review (and a long-needed raise) at work
-- buying my ibm thinkpad
-- halloween magic and dressing up for halloween
-- seeing lambda center's drag auction
-- kristin's wedding in maryland and getting to hang out with my childhood friend, jenn, while traveling
-- celebrating (gulp!) 36 years on this earth
-- the houston round up (and getting to meet sober bloggers from other cities)
-- two words: project runway!
-- buying my new motorola pebl cell phone (i'm in love)
-- my christmas trip home to pennsyltucky to see my family

peace out, everyone. talk to you again in the new year...

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 31.12.05 9:15 AM

sit around and watch the tube, but nothing's on
change the channels for an hour or two
twiddle my thumbs just for a bit
i'm sick of all the same old shit
in a house with unlocked doors
and i'm f*cking lazy

bite my lip and close my eyes
take me away to paradise
i'm so damn bored i'm going blind
and i smell like shit

peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving
i sure as hell can't do it by myself
i'm feeling like a dog in heat
barred indoors from the sunny street
i locked the door to my own cell
and i lost the key

sit around and watch the phone, but no one's calling
call me pathetic, call me what you will
my mother says to get a job
but she don't like the one she's got
when masturbation's lost its fun
you're f*cking lazy

(lyrics from green day's "longview")

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 30.12.05 8:36 AM

ok. so there was no new episode of project runway last night to write about this morning. that's all right. i'll get through the week without my p.r. fix. but while watching the reruns of episodes 1-4 last night (yes, i did. i'm one sick f*ck), i made my picks for the last three designers, and i figured that the earlier i reveal these three, the more psychic i will appear.

my choices are, in no particular order: chloe, nick, and santino. granted, i don't want santino to be among the last three, but somehow, someway, he will scratch and claw his way over others to find his way in. but no worries. he'll get it in the end. or, rather, he won't get it.

otherwise, not much else going on. i'm going to bring my laptop into work today so that i can use the downtime to sort though the hundreds of photos i have scattered in folders on my hard drive. once sorted, i will be better able to serve you, gentle reader.

speaking of photos, a group of my blogging peers participate in something they call "half-naked thursdays." i don't even know what it is, but i found this photo of myself (pre-bleaching) and wondered if it qualified. please let me know. if not, maybe next thursday i'll shed some more clothing. (careful what you ask for, you might just get it).

peace out. love and luck, people.

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 29.12.05 8:00 AM

i've been thinking a lot about the past year and where i've been, what i've done, and where i want to be and what i want to do in 2006.

i know that i'll take in a few trips this year: key west with my friend tommy in late winter/early spring, pennsyltucky in may to see my brother wed, and maybe even a trip on my own to somewhere warm, beachy, and really, really gay (any ideas?).

i also need to finally quit smoking this year (especially smoking while on the computer at work), and i would like to get healthier overall.

a more-complete list of my new year's resolutions will follow in my first post of the new year. i hope that my reading audience (both of you) appreciate my latest commitment to try to post something on this blog site every day. it really hasn't been that big of a deal for me; i really do enjoy it. it's like having a second job, as jim told me recently, but it's a job that i really love.

have a groovy hump day, all.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 28.12.05 8:04 AM

a google search for "brokeback mountain movie" comes up with nearly 7 million result pages. i haven't read many -- if any -- reviews of the film, at least not by professional critics. so here's my take...

the movie itself was beautifully filmed. each and every scene was well-thought out and carefully composed. this you could tell from the first frame of the film. the problem was this: there were almost too many scenes, some of which didn't add to the film. and a lot of these scenes were choppy and too short to, again, add anything to the film other than set the mood. the theme of isolation was apparent and didn't need to be repeated time and time again. kind of like beating a dead (gay) horse.

character development as well as the pace of the movie was extremely slow, but this i'm sure is attributable more to e. anne proulx's style of writing and her use of detail in her short story (which i'm yet to read) than to director ang lee's decision to be as faithful as possible to the proulx's text.

all of the actors were extremely effective in portraying their characters, particularly heath ledger and jake gyllenhaal. i particularly enjoyed heath's minimal mouth movement in mumbling his lines. it spoke volumes about the inner turmoil that was the life of his character, ennis del mar: unsure, uncertain, protective of his thoughts. you really were convinced without doubt that these two free-spirited cowboys were in love with each other. and not just on the physical level -- it went way deeper than that. you felt that it was actually painful -- physically and otherwise -- for the couple to be separated from one another. that sense came through loud and clear to the viewing audience.

i'm seriously hoping that these two actors -- as well as the actresses who played their wives -- come up for nominations for the golden globes and the academy awards. they truly deserve recognition, if only for the courage to tackle such a different kind of story and to have pulled it off so successfully.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 27.12.05 8:29 AM

i got back into town last night. late flight, and i was exhausted. but if you're going to fly for the holidays, i still believe that christmas day is the day to do it. i think it might have been the dog chew toy "cheeseburger" that continental served on the flight home that finally did me in.

so, what's a gay boy to do on his day off? this gay boy is going to see brokeback mountain (finally). theatres have been crowded, so i bought tickets for me, robin, and brandon online. then, it's 4 glorious days back at work. yippee! what a way to bring in the new year.

more later about the movie and whatever else.

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 26.12.05 12:19 PM

yesterday's post didn't work, so i'm going to try it again today. the connection seems better here today at the good ol' pennsyltucky starbucks, so let's hope for the best.

before leaving houston, i did some shopping for my family (gift cards), but once getting here, i felt badly that they would have nothing "real" to open. so, last night i did some 11th-hour shopping at the pennsyltucky target. i had such a blast! target rocks, you know? i had the most fun shopping for my nephews. the toys that they have out now are amazing! i just bought for them what i would have liked to have opened on christmas morning as a 3-year-old. i can't wait until tomorrow when they open my gifts for them.

while driving out to my brother's house last night, i caught on film one of the most amazing sky-scapes i've ever seen. i took the picture while driving -- such a smart move on my part.

last night, after shopping, i spent 2+ hours wrapping my family's gifts. i was like a pig in shit. i love wrapping stuff. and while at target i discovered one of the coolest things i've ever seen: reversable wrapping paper! what a great idea. pictured here is my presents and part of my parents' christmas tree.

everyone, enjoy the holidays. don't do anything i wouldn't do (which doesn't leave you with much).

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 24.12.05 10:06 AM

i've made it to pennsyltucky, but my choices for posting blog entries are tenuous at best. the local starbucks has a very limited (and unreliable) connection, so i must be brief. i'm hoping that everyone has made it safely to where they want to be for the holiday. other than that, not much to report. my parents, brothers, and family are all good. i'm looking forward to the next few days to hang out with them. but i'm also missing home quite a bit: my apartment, my cat, my friends, etc. houston really isn't such a bad place to live after all.

i would have posted some kind of lude photo with this short post, but i'm in a public place and there are small children about. damn them.

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 23.12.05 9:56 AM

i was not happy with the outcome of last night's episode of project runway. i want santino off the show so badly i can feel it in my bones! i think that he has no modesty, he doesn't take criticism well, and he acts as though he's already a world-renowned fashion designer, and -- news flash -- he's not. plus, in last night's episode, santino sold out fellow designer emmett by saying that working with him on his team was like carrying around dead weight: a "sack of potatoes" to be precise.

in episode 4, shown on bravo last night, the designers' challenge was about vision, execution, leadership, and teamwork. the designers were to create a lingerie line consisting of 3 looks. the 12 remaining designers had 30 minutes to sketch their individual ideas and pitch them to show hostess heidi klum. heidi then chose the top 4 "visions" and named those designers team captains. the captains then each chose 2 other contestants to be on their teams, each receiving $200 for materials and 1 day (12 hours) to complete the collection.

Team 1's team leader was daniel v. and included andrae "the cryer" gonzalo and zulema "i don't believe in fair" griffin. daniel v.'s theme, "revenge," took top prize. in my opinion, the revenge team took a pretty safe route to winning the challenge. there was really nothing innovative about the line itself. it was based on "a scorned woman seeking retribution against her lover by raiding his closet and cutting up his wardrobe." in his blog, tim gunn wrote, "i was pleased for the team that our judges responded well to these designs, because i was dubious. i, too, responded well to the sleek silhouettes and minimalism of designs, but there was something about the collection that looked very playboy bunny, and that disturbed me. it brought out my inner-feminist!"

gunn said that daniel v. didn't win so much for his design, but for his team's "synergy." he wrote, "daniel's leadership style is one that i applaud. he is truly collaborative; seeking the opinion of his teammates, listening to their feedback, and incorporating their ideas. bravo!"

team 2, with second-time-around contestant daniel franco as its leader, had its work cut out for it, or in daniel's case, not cut out for it. the man takes too long! he's on the wrong show -- and for the second time around! he still doesn't get the concept of project runway. he needs to be on project "give-me-a-few-weeks-to-hand-tailor-these-outfits-to-make-them-perfect-before-hitting-the-runway" runway. on daniel f.'s team were chloe dao (who i, personally, think will win the show. i just like her. everything about her.) and crazy south african kara janx. daniel franco was voted out. his vision of "lovemaking" didn't make the cut. it was an emotional goodbye for the judges as well as daniel's teammates. i think that daniel franco is very talented, but, as gunn puts it in his blog, "daniel is slow and plodding in his design execution. he spends an inordinate amount of time looking and studying, both up close and at a distance ('the daniel franco shuffle'), to quote chloe."

gunn added, "the only action that placated chloe and kara was daniel's declaration that he 'won't sell them out' if they receive low scores." kara even threatened to snip daniel f.'s "pee-pee" off if he got her thrown off the show. you go, kara, you crazy bitch.

team 3, with team leader diana "i never even read vogue" eng, included guadalupe "i use a bowl to cut my hair" vidal and marla "these kids are so talented ... what am i even doing here" duran. diana's "goddess" collection was just plain weird. one of the models even refused to wear an outfit that left little to the imagination. the team ended up having to create a top and bottom cover to "restore" the model's modesty on the runway. please! you're a freakin' model! you shouldn't have any modesty! gunn called the collection "vulgar, plain and simple." you be the judge.

team 4 had santino as its captaion. it included emmett "i only know how to make men's clothes" mccarthy and nick "no she didn't" verreos. santino's "vision" -- and i use the term loosely -- was just plain sad to me. called "heidi's homeland," it was a knock-off of designs that had been done (overdone?) before and he touted them as "visionary" and "innovative." i just think that santino is a pompus ass. and i also think that he and andrae have a "thing" going. but that's a story for another time...

gunn calls santino out, calling him in his blog "confident, arrogant, posturing." he calls his method of designing "solitary and idiosyncratic." gunn says that santino "builds his design on the dress form, pins it in essential areas, sews it, and repeats and repeats, constantly adding until our time is up. his is an additive process that would have chanel quaking in her spectators (a mantra of the seminal designer was, 'never add, only take away!')."

gunn added, "the concept's implementation was nothing more than a joke and a flat joke at that...team santino's designs looked like marzipan costumes for a black forest production of the nutcracker. It was all made worse and flatter, joke-wise, by the models' hair and make-up: deer? egads."

i have this to say to santino: this week, you were so lucky. next week, however, i am so hoping you are voted out! that's all i'm sayin'. i'm just putting it out there.

<<< >>>

just a note to those of you who read this ridiculous ka-ka of mine every day: i fly to pennsyltucky today to visit my family. i may end up taking my laptop with me, but i may not. i just don't know what kind of wireless internet connection i will get up there. that said, if i don't write for a few days, fear not. i will be back on christmas night. everyone have a fabulous holiday. and thanks so much for reading.

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 22.12.05 9:11 AM

since 2005 for me was so very much -- way too, too much, in my opinion -- about my mental and emotional wellbeing, i've decided that 2006 will be about the tactile, physical side of life. i've reached a milestone of sorts this past year. i've gotten in touch with a lot of feelings that needed to be attended to and, most importantly, i've gotten to know myself so much better. i've also been single now for nearly 6 months, and although there are times when that fact drags me down, i'm really ok with being on my own, if that makes any sense. i haven't been single for this amount of time -- ever. i've always clutched and sought and taken in emotional hostages. this is never good, for yourself or for the other party.

but while all this wonderful self-realization was going on, i've let my physical body turn to a heaping, steaming pile of shit! maybe in 2006 i'll finally find balance between the physical and mental realms. either that, or i'll become one of the most emotionally sound blobs of play dough you've ever met. not a good scene.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 21.12.05 8:16 AM

work. work has been borderline painful so far this week. my office is like a morgue. very few people are actually in the office working (those who didn't blow through their vacation time as hard and as early as i did) and those who are in the office are not in the best of christmas spirits, to put it mildly. i have to remember for next year to save a day or three so that i don't have to go through this pain at the end of 2006.

< < < > > >

on to good news. i received my motorola pebl yesterday. thanks, t-mobile, for shipping it off to me so fast. i am absolutely in love with it. in your hand, it feels like a smooth, water-worn stone. just big enough to carry a slight weight to it, but not too heavy or too big. and the one-handed magnetic hinge mechanism used to open the flip is flawless. if you see me around, ask me to touch my pebl, and i just might let you.

< < < > > >

separately, much to my chagrin, i am yet to see bareback brokeback mountain like everyone else has in the free world. they are running it on two screens here in the montrose at the river oaks theatre, but i've heard that the theatre is packed and tickets are scarce. i would see it while i'm out of town over christmas, but i doubt they are even showing it in pennsyltucky, don't you think? most people have been liking the finished product, however. i do think that they might have made a better movie by replacing jake gyllenhaal with someone like ryan phillippe. now we're talking a movie -- ryan and heath ledger gettin' it on! yeeha! yippe-kye-ah! round up 'dem doggies!

< < < > > >

getting serious for a second, however, and totally shifting gears on you, yesterday i saw that the detroit news reported that ford motor co. is facing the prospect of a new consumer boycott from the ultraconservative american family association of tupelo, miss. afa is angry over the automaker's decision to resume advertising in predominantly gay media. afa had called off an earlier boycott after reaching a deal with the automaker over the ads.

the detroit news noted afa chairman don wildmon as saying, "unfortunately, some ford officials made the decision to violate the good faith agreement. all we wanted was for ford to refrain from choosing sides in the cultural war, and supporting groups which promote same-sex marriage is not remaining neutral."

since ford broke the agreement, wildmon said the option of another boycott is "very much alive." last spring, afa launched a boycott in response to "ford's support for the homosexual agenda and homosexual marriage." under pressure from some dealers who feared sales would suffer, ford agreed to discuss the matter with afa.

gay rights groups said they would rather move on that renew the debate with wildmon and the afa. the detroit news reported jeff montgomery, executive director of the triangle foundation, as saying, "the afa is never going to be satisfied with anything." the triangle foundation is michigan's largest gay-rights group. "everybody has made their position clear," montgomery went on to say, adding, "now that we have all had our fair say, we should just get on with our lives and move on."

just last week, ford agreed to pull ads for its jaguar and land rover brands from gay publications next year. the decision followed a meeting between ford officials and the afa. the news sparked outrage in the gay community. ford met with gay rights advocates in washington, d.c. on dec. 12 and told the groups on dec. 14 it would purchase corporate advertising, on behalf of its eight brands, in gay and lesbian publications.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 20.12.05 7:34 AM

for the last few christmases, i have done little -- if anything -- by way of decoration around the house. no tree, no wreaths, no garland (judy or otherwise), no stockings hung by the chimney with care, blah, blah, blah.

this fact should not reflect as a lack of holiday spirit on my part, however. i do not decorate my home mostly because i'm never here during the actual christmas holiday. for the last few years, i've always traveled to pennsyltucky to be with my family for christmas, and my mother goes all-out in the decoration department at her home. my dad always says to outside guests who enter the house, "you can come in, but don't stand still too long or rita will stick a sprig of holly in you." so goes it at my parents' house.

since i feel so badly sometimes about the fact that there is no remnant of a reminder that it is christ's birthday that we're celebrating, i decided this year to decorate. but just one item. something that i'll be able to see everyday during the holiday season -- say, when i'm sitting down, relaxing, and collecting my thoughts. this, i feel, will symbolize for me the true meaning of christmas...

[note to self: i'm surely going to burn in eternal hellfire for this post.]

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 18.12.05 9:42 AM

i've got shit-loads of crap to take care of before leaving on thursday for pennsyltucky to be with my family for christmas: shopping, cleaning, packing, writing out christmas cards (yes, jim, i'm yet to send them out. please be patient with me), and on top of all this, i have to work monday through wednesday next week. how did christmas come so fast this year? i'm usually so organized,and this year i just dropped all my balls.



and yet, even with all this crap to take care of, all i feel like doing on this miserably cold, rainy houston saturday is staying inside, stripping down to my black lacy underwear, and reading the newspaper (how's that for a tie-in to today's photo, mark? good enough?).

by the way, i wanted to publicly thank my friend, mary, for buying me such a fabulous christmas present ... and thanks for giving it to me so early. i just love it! it was such a thoughtful way of saying, "steve, i love you this dollar amount."

merry christmas, mary.

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 17.12.05 10:22 AM

so, i was watching the local news last night and the sports portion came on (the remote was too far out of my reach at that moment, so i couldn't switch over to lifetime) and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a tall, dark, handsome athlete with a gorgeous face and stunning eyes -- so bright, so clear! jesus!

like, why didn't anyone tell me that houston's pro football team had such a shockingly beautiful quarterback? hello? people? what have i been missing on monday nights?

so, like a good little stalker i did some research on the man on the internet. his name: david carr. i assume he's straight, of course, which doesn't make any nevermind to me. he's probably also married, which actually throws a coulple of glitches into our budding relationship. but, i love looking at the man.

if anyone else has any more information about the carr-man (where he lives, where he hangs out, etc.), please enlighten me. a stalker's work is never easy, you know. one needs assistance in one's quest for being arrested and jailed while peering into your "subject's" house windows in the middle of the night...

peace out. have a fabulous friday! weekend is here. finally.

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 16.12.05 8:10 AM

last night's project runway wasn't all that exciting, but i did like the designers' challenge: each of the 13 remaining designers had to create a special look for one of fashion's "most important icons" -- barbie!
and not just any barbie ... my scene barbie, who is supposed to be 16-18 years old. the designers were to create a life-sized outfit for their models (and the designers were later asked to replicate the outfit in miniature to actually fit the doll). they had 2 days to complete the task.

nick wonthe challenge. (incidentally, i won 30 points for guessing that nick would win on the fashion face-off. see bravo's project runway web site for details). nick's outfit was absolutely right on. timothy gunn had this to say about it in his blog: "his use of a bold, graphic print; his sexy and sophisticated design; and his clear understanding of the client all spelled success." gunn added, "i loved the ruched bodice of the dress and the layers of its skirt and how those layers juxtaposed the pattern of the print. furthermore, the addition of the headdress was fashion genius." for winning the challenge, mattel is going to release a limited number of my scene barbies wearing nick's design, and his name and picture will be on every box! way to go, nick!

losing episode 3's challenge was raymundo. judge michael kors said that there was "nothing delishiously girly" about raymundo's creation, and that it looked "table-clothy" and just "sad." in his blog, gunn noted: "i was, and still remain, totally baffled by raymundo's solution to this challenge. first, i was perplexed by his fabric choices: an oatmeal tweed, an orange cotton, and a retro print that was unredeemable. where could these choices possibly take him?" gunn believed that raymundo had missed the mark, designing an outfit not for my scene barbie, but for her mother! interestingly, gunn said that with this challenge, raymundo appeared as though "he wanted to take himself down."

as for the drama level last night, there really wasn't any. andrae didn't cry at all. but he also didn't allow his model, danyelle, to wear the token blonde barbie wig that nearly every other designer decided to use. this choice, gunn wrote, "underscored the preciousness of his presentation."

daniel f. (who is a returning designer from season 1) is hanging in there, but he's still taking too long to complete challenges mostly due to his perfectionistic working style. as gunn wrote, "...his construction process is so idiosyncratic and protracted that he has trouble committing to his designs and, consequently, finishing the challenges."

marla, who is from my home state of pennsyltucky, is hanging in there as well, but her self-taught style is beginning to show with each passing week (most of the other designers have had legitimate fashion schooling).

and what can be said about santino. what an arrogant asshole! just because he was not singled out as this challenge's winner, he pouted and sulked, which, as gunn put it, "ignited a rancor towards the judges..."

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 15.12.05 7:52 AM

i received a surprise text message last night from none other than unprotectedtext himself. he's been offline for quite a while, and i miss reading his thoughts and insights. those of you new to blogging might not know it, but unprotectedtext (kurt, from atlanta) was one of the first bloggers i stumbled upon and started reading on a regular basis way back before i even had a blog. i would read both his blog as well as that of his atlanta sidekick cyberkenny, who also is now offline (and the domain name is even up for bid!). i'm glad that kurt text messaged me, because i was starting to wonder about what had become of the atlanta hottie. kurt took this photo of himself back in 2003 when i met him face-to-face on one of my trips to atlanta to visit my best friend, beck.

receiving kurt's text message last night made me think of all the blogs that i used to read that are now offline. such as spacewaitress and the original mumblefuck, and itsallaboutdustie. i like quite a few blogs that i read today, but there is something about the originals that will always hold a special place in my heart.

kurt is going to kill me for posting his photo like this. i'm hoping that he won't be too, too angry with me. he owes me a visit in the new year. come to houston, kurt! lonestarsteve will show you a good time!

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 14.12.05 7:04 AM

december is just flying by. i still haven't shopped for gifts for any of my family members. i will be flying up to pennsyltucky to visit them -- mom, dad, brother, his fiance, other brother, his wife, two nephews -- on the 22nd. i'll be staying through christmas day. i'm looking forward to the trip, although i dread flying during the holiday season.

i will also be making out christmas cards this week. if you send me your mailing address, you will get one from me.

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 13.12.05 8:11 AM

the weekend went by too quickly. damnit. on friday night, i went out to dinner with mark, marc, and j.p. it was actually mark's treat. we went to a place called ibiza in midtown. good food, good company. i had a great time.

saturday was mostly about cleaning the apartment and shopping for crap that i needed (or didn't need, rather). on saturday night, i went to a holiday party at the home of everett and alan in the heights. in attendance were a lot of my friends from lambda. i wore this gay santa hat. no one else was wearing anything christmassy, except maybe some red and green. and black. people always wear black to christmas parties, it seems. i don't know quite why. this picture is of me with dani and her girlfriend, leslie. i love them both very much.

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 12.12.05 7:25 AM

i received some complaints about my post yesterday from some of my readers. the complaint went something like this: "the photo that you posted had nothing to do with what you wrote about."

as much as everyone is entitled to their opinion, in this case i must disagree. and here's my explanation: the photo has everything to do with the post, and more. just connect the dots, people! i wrote about how cold it was outside and how i didn't even want to set foot outside, ergo, metaphorically i was in fact in the same mindset as this fine, scantly clad naked fellow in the photo.

we see him contemplating whether to remain inside his home -- where it's toasty warm -- and return to his white-hot latin lover in bed, or to actually shower, dress, and battle the bitter cold elements that await him outside. what he doesn't realize, however, is that if he leaves now, his latin lover will use his laptop to get onto gay.com and hook up with another guy for an afternoon of lust and deceit. and then his latin lover and his whore will find one of the fellow's credit cards and proceed to charge up a literal fortune on useless, yet expensive, items from qvc for the rest of the day. then when the fellow finally returns to his home after an exhausting day at work, the latin lover will be gone, having left nothing but a note with only the word "sucker!" written across the page in 4th-grader script.

so, you see, my post yesterday has everything to do with the photo. much in the same way today's photo has everything to do with this post.

have a great weekend, ya'll.

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 10.12.05 10:55 AM

jesus! it's freakin' cold! why must houston be all about extremes? when it's hot in the summer, it's hot. and in the winter when it gets below freezing, all the plants die of frost bite.

when i started my car yesterday morning, the outside temperature gauge on my dash started beeping and flashing "34°" over and over again. i don't know why it does this. i've consulted my manual about it, but have never gotten a straight explanation.

i guess my car is trying to warn me that the roads could be frozen over and that i should be careful while driving, say, across bridges so that i don't accidentally slide into a guardrail, break through it, and plunge to a certain and horrible death.

when it beeped at me yesterday, however, i was like, "yes, it's cold. thanks so much for reminding me -- like i needed to be told over and over again that it's freakin' freezing outside. what the f*ck do you want me to do about it? now, just get over it and start blowing hot air in here, won't you?"

i wouldn't worry too much about it, though. it will probably be 90° and sunny this weekend. that's houston for you.

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 09.12.05 8:08 AM

the second season of project runway will not be a disappointment, that's for sure. last night's 2-hour premier of season two was stellar. there are some really strong personalities among the contestants in this latest round, and catfights are sure to ensue all along the way to fashion week.

in episode one, 16 preselected designers came to new york with outfits made from materials sent 1 week before the competition began: 6 yards of unbleached cotton muslin and $20 for supplies. the challenge was to "design an outfit that best expresses who each of them is as a designer; that is, their design philosophy and point of view. "

timothy gunn, chair of the department of fashion design at parsons the new school for design (as well as onsite "mentor" for the contestants), has started a blog where he writes about each designer after each challenge.

winning the first challenge was santino rice. gunn writes, "his look was stunning: a rich, voluminous confection that incorporated what i saw in santino when he auditioned. he is a master of detail and a perfectionist with his craft. there was no doubt that he had used the full week for the challenge, and he managed his time well. the deep rich jewel tone of the dye for his muslin, the layering of the muslin to invoke the baby doll effect, and the effortless fit on his model, heather, all ensured his win. santino, congratulations!" there really isn't a great picture of his outfit, but trust me, it was flawless.

eliminated from the first challenge were heidi standridge (from atlanta) and john wade (from l.a.). each came to new york with designs deemed "too basic." gunn writes that heidi's outfit "reminded me of an elementary school fashion design experience: take crepe paper, tissue paper, and paper doilies and create a dress. a little cutting, a lot of gluing, and you're done." i absolutely agree with him -- go back to atlanta, you country bumpkin! after being named one of those "out," heidi said to the judges, "can i give you guys a hug?" whatever!

of john's outfit, gunn writes that it "looked cheap and homely." he adds, "without the tie-dying, we would have been left with nothing but a muslin shift." when asked, john admitted to completing his look in only 8 hours, when the contestants were each given 1 week to complete their task! gunn says, "that means that 6 days were spent thinking about it or 6 days were spent reflecting upon it or some combination of the two. instead, those 6 days should have been spent furthering his design." john, you should know better than to open your mouth while showing your fashions on the runway!

in episode two, also shown last night, host heidi klum threw a "get-to-know-one-another" party for the remaining 14 designers. while there, the designers were clued in to their next challenge: they were to use the "clothes off their backs" -- the clothes that they wore to the party -- to fabricate their design.

chloe dao (from houston) won the challenge. she was handicapped by the fact that she had relatively little material to work with (to the party she wore a short jersey dress, which she designed, and a jacket). out of it, she fabricated a halter dress with exaggerated pockets! you go, chloe!

"out" was kirsten ehrig (from l.a.). to the party, she wore a gold jacket over a vintage porsche t-shirt and jeans and an "heirloom" hermes scarf, which she refused to use in her design, given its sentimental value (it was given to her mother by her grandmother). gunn writes that at the judging, kirsten "audibly balked at the command that everything they were wearing was to be used for the fabrication of this design challenge." therefore, kirsten's decision not to use the scarf became "her waterloo" and spelled her demise. it's a shame, too, because i was really getting to like kirsten's personality and fashion sense.

there are some changes this season to the show's format. first off, after the first challenge, each designer -- like always -- chose their models for the second challenge. but this season, these models will stay with their respective designers throughout the entire season!

also -- and you can say that you read it here first -- i think that there's a "mole" on the cast of contestants. i don't know exactly what purpose a spy would serve on the show, but i think that emmett mccarthy is it. just a hunch.

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 08.12.05 8:10 AM

it's 5 a.m. i've been up for 2 hours now. my sleep schedule has been a complete mess for the last several weeks. i don't really know why. i can't say that i mind it much though. it is what it is.

but on the days when i wake up this early, and can't get back to sleep, i'm totally useless at work once 3 p.m. rolls around. other than that, i make up for the lost rest on other nights.

one night last week i slept for 13 hours after getting 4 hours of sleep the night before. ok. enough about the sleeping habits of a neurotic gay recovering alcoholic/addict with a penchant for late-night t.v. reruns. but let's move on, shall we?

not much else to say. now it's almost 8 a.m. and i have to get ready for work. i've been screwing around for 3 hours now, and what do i have to show for it? i did find a great site for daily eye candy. this is model eugen burgen as photographed by jean philippe guillemain. see more of eugen here.

enjoy humpday. get the f*ck out of bed already.

posted by lonestarsteve on wed 07.12.05 7:47 AM

i'm such a cell phone whore. in the last 3 years i've owned 3 phones (for those of you lacking math skills, that averages out to 1 phone every year). and since each phone goes for a couple hundred bucks as well as a year or longer commitment on an already expensive service contract, changing phones as often as i do is complete and utter insanity. but yet, i do it. every year.

but in my defense, i don't just willy-nilly replace a cell phone because i'm fickle. when a year rolls around, i actually need another phone. that's because i drop the shit out of my phone on a regular basis. my hands are large, and i'm super clumsy, and i drop my phone all the time. i actually need a phone that has bubble wrap all around it so that when it slams down on the cement it will have a soft landing. but instead of a bubble wrap phone, my eyes are set on the motorola pebl. it's not even available for sale yet in the u.s. rumor has it that there were some problems with the prototype that motorola is trying to fix before releasing it for sale. but its release is imminent. and i'm all over it like white on rice. sure, i could buy a razr (they even have magenta now!) but i haven't heard such good things about them.

does anyone have any advice on this? do you just love your cell phone? please enlighten me...

posted by lonestarsteve on tue 06.12.05 7:35 AM

again, i'm admitting that i watch too much t.v., but i am looking forward to wednesday night with the start of the new season of project runway. i don't know why, but i became so swept up with last season's show. i loved to hate mother-turned-designer wendy pepper and all of her plotting and scheming. i lived to hear host heidi klum say in that wacked out accent of her's: "one of you will be in, the other will be out." i loved hearing designer michael kors cut on the designs of the group, calling wendy's designs "matronly" and "dowdy." and watching wendy, jay mccarroll, kara saun, and austin scarlett in the last few episodes from last season had me sitting on the edge of my seat. i mean, literally.

i don't know why i was so infatuated with the show. i love clothes, don't get me wrong. but i don't think i would have any skills as a designer. i guess i just liked all the cat-fighting among the contestants. or the cut-throat competition. or all the cattiness. go figure, but come this wednesday, i'm in for another season. i will watch it until the end. it will probably not be as good as the first season, but i'm counting on some intense moments and some good laughs from watching the castmates fight and bicker.

posted by lonestarsteve on mon 05.12.05 7:43 AM

i'm feeling a little bit like neo in the matrix this weekend. i need to unplug for a while. yesterday i was chained to my computer for most of the day giving this blog site a much-needed -- and long overdue -- overhaul. i've been adding new links to my links link, and i've decided to design my own gallery and not use flickr (i know, it would have been easier to use flicker, but i just like when things are hard difficult, daigle, so quit your bitchin'). the photo gallery is a work-in-progress and i'm continuing to add to it today. keep checking back for more photos and let me know if you like the format. i was shooting for something a little original and yet user-friendly.

in other news, i'm eternally grateful to jim for mentioning me on his site yesterday. he never blogs on the weekends and he did so yesterday as a special favor to me. thank you, jim. i've been trying to get my blog readership up, and jim's site is a popular one. i don't think i would ever want to be as widely read as andy (such a hottie, by the way) or chad, but i would like to make a dent in the blogosphere. and if it takes posting every day, i'll do it. and if it takes posting some smutty skin photo every day, i'll do that as well. i ain't got no pride.

love & luck, people. hope your weekend was a good one.

posted by lonestarsteve on sun 04.12.05 9:16 AM

i really liked last night's top 10 list on david letterman:

top ten signs you've hired a bad department store santa

10 :: fluffy white beard is heavily soiled with chaw stains
9 :: lectures each child on the wonders of scientology
8 :: there's always two or three elves on defibrillator duty
7 :: tries to snort the fake snow
6 :: the suit is more orange and reads "auburn correctional facility"
5 :: every night he walks out with a sack full of ipods
4 :: instead of saying, "ho, ho, ho," keeps mumbling something about "jihad"
3 :: tells every kid climbing on his lap, "careful of santa's flask"
2 :: because of earlier incident, can't go within 50 ft of victoria's secret salesgirl
1 :: points out which kids he thinks will be gay

posted by lonestarsteve on sat 03.12.05 5:44 PM

i watch way more t.v. than is good for me. but be that as it may, my latest guilty pleasure takes place on wednesday nights at 9 p.m. (central time) on abc. namely invasion. probably the scariest thing about the science-fiction drama -- which stars eddie cibrian as sexy park ranger russell varon -- is that it's not even good t.v. in fact, it really sucks. but i get sucked into it anyway. and with cibrian in almost every scene, it makes it that much more difficult to take a bathroom break except during commercials.

i just love the promo text on abc's web page for the new show:

"man has searched the skies for centuries and has never come up with conclusive evidence to prove the existence of other forms of intelligent life. what if we have been looking in the wrong place? what if there were other forms of intelligent life already living among us? what if perceived natural disasters were really diversions created to conceal clandestine alien activities?

"when a small town at the edge of the florida everglades is threatened by a raging hurricane, u.s. park ranger russell varon (my new boyfriend) must go to great lengths to protect the small community and his family safe. during the storm his young daughter claims to have seen mysterious lights, seemingly unaffected by the gale-force winds, floating near the water. varon dismisses the sighting, but begins to wonder if there really was some truth to the story after his missing ex-wife turns up naked and her memory of the storm is completely gone (don't you just hate when that happens? ex-wives aren't good for anything).

"while the community begins to clean up after the storm and piece their lives back together, varon begins to investigate the strange happenings as he tries to make sense of what is happening (you go, eddie! let 'em have it! and, hey, you can wear your shirt a little less often you know)."

posted by lonestarsteve on fri 02.12.05 4:20 PM

on tuesday, bbc news reported that 42-year-old pop star george michael next year plans to marry long-term partner -- and texan -- kenny gross, 47, in what michael referred to as "a quiet affair." the pair have been coupled for almost 10 years.

given this shocking news, i guess that you can surmise that george and my relationship just didn't work out. we broke up last christmas. it was the strangest thing. we met, and wham! we were a couple. we were star people for a while, then things became too funky and the problems began. we did gave it a try, then gave it one more try, then i made a last request. i was just praying for time, waiting for that day to spend more time with him, but my careless whispers went unnoticed. i thought we had something flawless, you know? something outside the ordinary, something to save, but we were just living hand to mouth most of the time and had a real string of hard days. finally, we were both just spinning the wheel, you know? i then lost patience and finally realized that he was just a monkey on my back. i was so blue after that, though, and nearly lost my faith in relationships in general. "but i want your sex," i told him, "i'm your man!" then i said to myself, "she ain't worth it. you are just kissing a fool. she's already got everything she wants!" he just wanted fast love anyway, and i had no freedom with him in my life. what was i thinking anyway? besides, he is so much older than me -- old enough to be a father figure for christ's sake. i remember screaming, "don't wake me up before you go-go," the day he left my apartment. "go ahead and marry your american angel! you freeek!"

american angel

bless the day you came into my life, i still remember
horny cowboy with your stars and stripes
bringing the light into my day
with that texan smile

too afraid to love, to hope that you would stay
so broken that i never saw you chase the past away

my american angel, he doesn't want to fight (doesn't need to fight)
my u.s. of angel, holds me in the dead of night
takes away that fear that i carried forever
you stopped to wipe away my tears
and you stayed forever and more

(i don't think that i...)

yesterday it seemed my life was colder than december
all alone i watched the eagles fly
even the light seemed to have changed
in the californian sky

through all of those battles then you came
stepped out of the fading light
said, "baby i'm american, dry your eyes again,
because i'm here to save your life"

because i don't think that i could love and lose again
i don't think i have the strength
i don't think i have the strength

i don't think that i...

posted by lonestarsteve on thu 01.12.05 7:46 AM